Beer Makes Men Smarter

by updated 2012/04/14

beerFinally some good news on the health front, even if it makes absolutely no sense.  If you have ever been in a bar you must wonder if these researchers have been living under a rock, but that is what this new study actually shows.  Men given two pints of beer were 40% better at problem solving than men who had nothing to drink.  I don’t know what happens as beer consumption goes up, but I suspect the increase in smartness does not continue correspondingly.

In fact this is very interesting to me given the results of a different recent study that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.   I wondered if the two things could be related so I conducted my own study.  I got several of my buddies to drink 5 beers each and took note of the results.  Every one of them gained a few pounds, talked incessantly without making any sense, became emotionally hyperactive, couldn’t parallel park, became unable to think rationally, argued with me over nothing, and refused to apologize when proved wrong.  Maybe I should think twice before I publish these results anywhere else.

Will Sig
1 RK Henderson

Beer is an ancient health food. With time, all the attention has been focused on the alcohol and the miraculous way it turns a lout into a super-lout (viewed as positive in the lout community), but real beer is very good stuff. One of my profs in college told me that he and his fellow soldiers in WWII called it “liquid bread”, because when that was all you could get to eat, it would keep you alive. (Unlike wine or hard liquor, which would ultimately kill you.)

Admittedly, in the States, where production beer has long been nothing but trailer park crack, this can be a hard sell. But even Americans now have access to world-class “craft” beers that are perfectly legitimate food. (OK, they’re “part of this complete breakfast”, but they do bring something to the table.) They’re expensive, but just one of those is worth more than a case of Bud, in every sense except the crack one.

Robin

Rusty Ring: Reflections of an Old-Timey Hermit
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2 Will

Ah yes Robin, the old lout community… still alive and well… and drinking Bud Lite.

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3 Laurianne

If I am not mistaken, beer has B vitamins which is good for the brain. However, we should drink beer in moderation.

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4 Binky

I would like to see their definition of “smarter”.
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5 Tony McGurk

Ha Ha Love your research results Will. Definitely female hormones in beer then. I’m sure that after the 2 pints as drunkeness increases so does male stupidity in proportion the the amount of beer drunk
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6 LadyofCanyons

Having observed many men folk while drinking beer I have often been impressed by their ablility to accomplish so much! LOL
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