The Baked Goods Mystery


PigsTwo or three months ago I noticed baked goods appearing in our shrubbery.  Or more accurately I noticed one of our dogs, after sticking her nose into the bushes, would appear with a bagel, chunk of bread, or what appeared to be pizza crust hanging out of her mouth.  At first I thought someone was throwing these into our yard from the road.  The problem with that theory was that we live on almost two acres and many of the places where the white flour “treats” were appearing were so far from the road that a pro baseball player’s arm would have been needed to cover the distance.  This went on for weeks with no answers.  I asked everyone and although others had seen one of the dogs with these items, they had no idea what was up.  Everyone claimed innocence and cluelessness as to where this stuff was coming from.  Meanwhile the dogs were not complaining and I wanted answers!

Then, several weeks after the mystery started, the answer fell (almost) into my lap.  I was Bagelswalking across the area between the house and the barn when a bagel fell out of the sky almost right at my feet.  Grabbing it before a dog could get to it, I had my answer.  Behind our house is about 120 acres of agricultural land.  Way out in the middle, (where luckily we cannot smell it), is a large pen with pigs in it.  The farmer who has these pigs apparently gets truckloads of old baked bagels, bread, and such from some business and dumps them into the pig pen.  No, the pigs were not throwing them 200 yards as a favor to our dogs.  What seemed to be happening is that the dogs had some kind of deal going on.  I did not think our dogs even knew Dennis the Vizsla and friends, but who else but that bunch could have put our innocent puppies up to it?

Anyway, the deal our dogs had going was with some crows or ravens that hang out in the back field.  These birds were grabbing the baked goods from the pigpen and flying over our property on their way to wherever it is that crows or ravens go when on an important mission, carrying large pieces of cooked dough.  Once in a while though, one of the birds would lose its grip on their payload and voila, manna from doggy heaven.

For some reason this has recently stopped happening.  Maybe the crows are getting better at holding on to their loads.  Maybe they are just taking a slightly different flight path that avoids our yard.  Maybe the pigs have gotten smart and now defend their food a little bit better.  Or, maybe the dogs have reneged on their part of the deal. In any case, there have been no recent near misses with bagels from the sky, the dogs, (no matter how hard they look, find no more treasures in the shrubs, and thankfully the mystery is solved.  I say thankfully because if that bagel had not almost beaned me, I probably would have gone to my grave wondering what the heck was going on!

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Will Sig
1 Steve

hi Will,
Great post! Having just commented on the crows, I should have thought of birds dropping the bagels, but didn’t until you mentioned it later in your post. I was wondering if the pig farmer had some kind of food cannon that he was using to “launch” the food scraps to spread them out, and his cannon was a little overcharged.
BTW, have you seen the kids movie “Cloudy with a chance of meatballs”? It starts raining food in the movie… looks like you have a real-life version of Hollywood up there! 🙂 Steve
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2 Will

I have seen the movie listed on TV, but have not watched it. A pig feeding cannon? Sounds like great fun!


3 Keith

Great story, Will.

You are just fortunate that you happened to be outside when the bird lost his grip. Though I can think of worse mysteries to take to your grave!

I was perplexed by the pig picture for just a bit. I thought “What strange looking dogs?”


4 Will

Yeah, fortunate also that I was not about 3 feet to the left or I would have been beaned by a stale, hard, bagel, covered with pig stuff.

And of course our dogs are not strange looking at all. They, like everyone else in the family, are rather, umm handsome. Here is proof of that:
Just don’t ask about proof for yours truly, please.


5 Tony

I read this the other day & thought I left a comment. I guess not. That sure was a mystery indeed. Where can I get a bakery bush, it would be handy to have in the garden. I can just imagine Michelle asking me “Can you go to the garden & pick some fresh bread”


6 Tony McGurk

I read this the other day & thought I left a comment. I guess not. That sure was a mystery indeed. Where can I get a bakery bush, it would be handy to have in the garden. I can just imagine Michelle asking me “Can you go to the garden & pick some fresh bread”


7 Dennis the Vizsla

hello will its dennis the vizsla dog hay if ennybuddy cud wurk owt a deel like that with the crows it wood be tucker all rite!!! he wil stop at nuthing to git his snaks and evrywun elses snaks too!!! ha ha ok bye


8 Binky

I thought this story was going to be conclusive proof that pigs do indeed fly. Oh well.

A couple of years ago I found half a hamburger bun on top of my car’s battery under a locked hood. Happened twice, but never did find out how they got there. Squirrels I imagine, having a little party near a warm engine.
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9 Will

Ha Ha! Many years ago I opened the hood of my car to check the oil and found the top of the engine littered with cracked nut shells. The only thing I could think of was the local chipmunks having a party under the hood. Half a hamburger bun is a little more odd. Squirrels maybe or rats?


10 Anna

Oh great now pigs are fed junk food lol.
That was one great story Will, what are the chances for the baked goods falling off the sky. Should happen more where people don’t have food to eat.
Anna 🙂
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11 Lavenderbay

Or maybe when Spring comes, Mrs Farmer will come by to see if you’d like to buy a lovely new black feather duster.
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12 GrammyMouseTails

I must be late for this post, but since the WW post was the same I saw this interesting headline and had to look twice. I was confused at first too, with the pig picture, could not figure out what kind of dog breed you thought you had! I kind of like Steves idea & Binkies, would be cheaper than buying dog food. but a food cannon could get messy, you never know what that farmer is going to throw out! too bad for the dogs sweet treats. I feed the wild birds here, but they are lucky to get whole bagels or sweets, those have a tendency to land in my tummy first.


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